I have been thinking of lasts a lot lately. So many last times happen and you don’t know until after, even long after, that they were the last. As a parent there are many of these. The last time you carried your child up the stairs, the last time you helped them wash their hair, the last time you tuck them into bed. Many of these times you might not even be able to recall. Things happen slowly and then all at once. 

I lost my Mom this year. It was unexpected, but we had a couple of months warning. We got to say things that needed to be said, and even though I knew it was coming, I didn’t know exactly when, so I didn’t know the last time I would hear her voice or get a hug from her. 

My Mom was an incredibly generous care giver. She thought of everyone before herself. She was the very best Grammy. She was funny and liked to laugh. She loved to cook and would bake when stressed. She worked many jobs in her 73 years and was dedicated to each of them. I use so many things in my daily life that she gave me. I didn’t know the last time that I received a gift from her was the last.

We talked on the phone often, but she was not usually the caller. She didn’t want to call at an inconvenient time. I called her to tell her lots of little things, and to ask if she could do Grammy duty. She did, however, always call on New Year's Eve. To see if we had “big plans” (she knew we didn’t) and to wish us a Happy New Year. I am reflecting on this particular last today as we move into a new year, one I now begin without her. I didn’t know last year would be the last time I would get that call. 

I am glad I didn’t know. It is such a blessing to experience life in the moment and not know if it is the last. The safety of assuming things will happen again over and over is hope. I lost my Mom on December 15, 2024 coincidently exactly 58 years after the world lost Walt Disney. 

Someday will be the last time I go to Walt Disney World. I hope it is not for a hundred years and a million trips, but alas that last will come. Until then, I will ride the rides, eat the food, watch the shows and book the trips. It is magic being there, and I can’t wait for my next trip. I know it will not be my last.